Realitology

“The Study of Reality”

Warning! This Blog Contains Social Commentary, Brilliant Observations, Dry Wit, and Rampant Sarcasm. Use At Your Own Risk.

 

An Innocent Ban On Flatulence or An Attack On America? You Decide.
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Oh my god, this shit is getting serious now.

I read with horror as I see our freedoms literally being stripped away…

Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence

According to this week’s Fire Cracker school newsletter…the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It’s gross."

 

This is AMERICA dammit. We have a god given right to fart when we damn well please. It’s called the second ammendment—the right to fart and bear arms.

They can have my metamucil when they pry it from my cold dead fingers.

And who is this "Jordan Knowlton" anyway? What do we know about her? Innocent middle-school student or Chinese spy? Al-Qaeda terrorist? Whoever she is, she’s obviously bent on THE DESTRUCTION OF AMERICA!

First they take away your right to fart, but who knows where this could end? It’s a slippery slope.
Hasn’t history taught us anything?

———————————————————

FIRST THEY CAME

When they came for the belchers,
I remained silent;
I was not a belcher.

When they locked up those with smelly armpits,
I remained silent;
I did not have smelly armpits.

When they came for those with bad breath,
I did not speak out;
I did not have bad breath.

When they came for the farters,
I remained silent;
I wasn’t a farter.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
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WAKE UP AMERICA!

Where are the civil libertarians? (or civil librarians) Where are the freedom fighters? Where is Mike Huckabee? Where is Ron Paul? Their silence is deafening.

If this doesn’t wake people up to the Evils of the Patriot Act I don’t know what will.

This may be the first small step from the North American Unionit’s probably those damn Canadians…I have it on good authority that Canadians don’t fart, so it wouldn’t surprise me.

Regardless of who is behind this, they must not succeed! Stand Up for America. Write to your representatives. Tell them this goes too far!

I propose that February 5th be proclaimed forevermore as "National Flatulence Day".

As a show of solidarity to our oppressed brothers and sisters,  I encourage everyone to Fart and Fart Proudly…as often and as loudly as possible.

It was good enough for the founders of this great nation and it’s good enough for me!

 

 


The Palestinian Public Relations Hype Machine – Don’t Fall For It
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I saw this post about Jimmy Carter spouting more idiotic opinions. I had to chime in on the whole Israeli/Palestinian situation.

First off, Jimmy Carter is a boob and always has been IMHO. He is the epitome of all that is wrong with liberal ideology–Utopian, gullible, blind to reality, and naive beyond comprehension.

Secondly, to the Palestinian/Israeli conflict. I am fairly neutral on the subject. I see much fault with both sides.

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What Makes It A Weed Anyway?
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Today I was walking along the river that runs near our house. I was watching the birds and the weeping willows sway in the wind. It was very nice. It’s late springtime and lots of wildflowers are blooming. Most look pretty delicate but I know they’re not. They can’t be and survive in our climate.There were tiny lilac flowers with dark purple veins running through them. With the sun as a backlight the little plants just glowed as if they were electrified. The darker veins stood out in stunning contrast to the delicate lilac color of the petals. There were flowers that looked like golf balls suspended at the end of a length of bamboo. When I got closer I could see that it wasn’t a single flower, but many flowers making up the globe of white. They had a subtle, sweet, earthy wildflower fragrance.

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Stay afraid. It's for your own good.
Signed,
Your Government





No, not that kind of out!
Go ahead. Click it. You know you want to!