Realitology

“The Study of Reality”

Warning! This Blog Contains Social Commentary, Brilliant Observations, Dry Wit, and Rampant Sarcasm. Use At Your Own Risk.

 

God Dammit, What Did I Just Say About Leaving The Animals Alone!
* Comments(4)

As if hunting and eating them was not enough, those wacky Japanese have decided to also humiliate whales by making them wear Santa Hats. Now this definitely IS anthrophomorphism.


"While the white belugas are entertaining the crowds, their humpback cousins are facing a brutal end in cold storage at the hands of Japanese whalers in Antarctica"

Hunting ships are already on their way to the icy reaches of the Southern Ocean, where this year’s catch of 1,000 will include humpbacks for the first time in 40 years.

The hunting expedition also plans to kill 50 fin whales, the world’s second largest animal after blue whales, as 850 smaller minke whales.

Wildlife officials say the display of the white belugas wearing Santa hats is both sad and ironic against the background of the Antarctic hunts, due to start in the region after Christmas.

"While whales are being used for entertainment in Japan, the Japanese fleet is subjecting whales to a cruel death in the Southern Ocean," said Mr Darren Kindleysides, a Sydney-based campaigner for the International Fund for Wildlife.

"Sadly, the aquarium owners seem to be showing as little respect for whales as their Government."

An Australian whale-watching official, Mr Peter Lynch, said the aquarium display was disrespectful to the whales, adding: "The real irony lies in the fact that the general population in Japan have no idea what’s going on in Antarctica."

However, the Australian government will be casting a different eye over the activities of the Japanese whalers in Antarctica – it plans to send a former P&O cruise ship, now converted into an armed vessel, to the region to monitor the hunting.

Following high-level talks, the vessel, Oceanic Viking, which has a reinforced hull to cut through ice, will be leased to the government to track the Japanese whaling ships and keep a check on their activities.

The crew is trained for polar conditions and they will use ‘super-telephoto’ lenses to record the whale slaughter.

In addition, the ship will have two .50-calibre machine guns manned by a customs boarding party should a clash of any kind with the Japanese vessels occur.

Australia’s new Labour Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, has accused the former John Howard government of doing nothing to save the endangered whales, adding that nobody took seriously Japan’s claim that it was conducting scientific research. full story…

 

"Scientific Research" my blowhole!

 OK really I can’t say making the whales wear santa hats is particularly cruel (certainly not worse than wrenching them from their home and forcing them to live in a tiny cage and stop communicating with each other because they’ll go deaf from the sounds bouncing around the container) . In fact I’m sure the whales are having a good laugh at the dork standing next to them.

But really, this is just another stupid example of how people use and abuse other animals for their amusement. It’s just a "thing", not a living being with feelings and sensitivity or anything. It’s just a little play thing. AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

And the Japanese have got to be the worst at it with all that cutsey hello kitty, pokemon, raping little girls manga crap. Their culture is just fucking weird in that way. (And yes I know plenty of Japanese. I’m married to one in fact.) They live in a fucking dream world in certain ways. They’re still taught that America was the aggressor in world war 2, they know nothing about the rape of Nan King (but that’s a different post.)

On the positive side, you can buy beer and porno magazines in vending machines in Japan. And they have the best and most high-tech toilets in the world. You’ve not taken a proper shit until you’ve shit on a Japanese toilet and had it clean your asshole with water and then blow dry it.  No wiping! No Muss! No Fuss! But honestly I don’t have the patience to wait for the air dryer. It takes too long, just like a hand dryer. Plus I don’t want to get a chapped anus! Do they make ass-chap-stick?

(FREE TIP: Make sure you don’t press the "ladies wash" button by mistake or you’ll get your nuts and/or vagina showered instead of your bunghole. That is of course unless your nuts and/or vagina need cleansing then by all means press that button.)

Where the hell was I? Oh yeah cruelty to animals…My wife said they used to eat whale meat at school lunch. Isn’t that nifty. Really we westerners can’t bitch too much about whale killing. I mean, how many billions of chickens, cows, and pigs do we kill and eat? (By "we" I mean you carnivores out there.)

Man I really don’t even know what to say. The absurdity boggles the mind. OK, how about some more humiliating photos then?


"Hey Arty. I feel like a dipshit with this hat on."
"Me too, Ted."


"Is that a santa hat on your blowhole, or are you just happy to see me?"

 

 

 

4 Responses to “God Dammit, What Did I Just Say About Leaving The Animals Alone!”

  1. Chad, on December 19th, 2007 at 7:40 am, said:

    Well…Bless my blowhole! This is great! Where do I sign up? Personally, I’m more inclined to pay for post cards of monkeys with dunce caps (in deferints to yer preevyus poste…lol) more than I am for flipper in Christmas garb…probably because the former is a better approximation of the truth with regard to human beings and NOT our alleged cousins. Perhaps, we’ve become dumber since we came down from the trees 2.7 million years ago. This is one case where evolution shows unequivocally, that even stupidity (OURS) is a truly blessed evolutionary adaptation. The fact that our intelligence is inversely proportional to our birthrate bears this out. Merry Christmas Mr. Whale! Oh, and BTW, you’re not using that ambergris are you? And say, your little one there, would sure look good in a Christmas hat. Dang! All this talk of seafood is making me hungry…more beluga anyone?

  2. Realitology, on December 19th, 2007 at 11:41 am, said:

    It’s always good when you can squeeze “ambergris” into a conversation 😉 Sure makes a helluva fondue!

  3. coffee messiah, on December 23rd, 2007 at 5:47 am, said:

    Hi ya! It’s been too long but glad to C U R still at it! ; )

    Cheers from indy-anna! CM

  4. Realitology, on December 24th, 2007 at 5:50 pm, said:

    Thanks Coffee. Yeah I’m still at it every once in a while when the mood strikes me…which doesn’t happen that often lately.

    Cheers from indy-anna!

    Indy-anna? Hey, that’s my old home state. Long ago and far far away though.

    Thanks for stopping by.

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